I’ll have you know, I’m so excited…I’m all a twitter! Why…you may ask. Well, we’re at the start of Hollywood’s Award Season! This is so exciting! I’m giddy with anticipation about all of the FREE advice I’m going to get from all of the STARS about how I should be living my life and how our leaders can govern better. I mean, I could be driving to Orlando and shelling out hundreds of dollars to attend seminars where rich people come out and tell me these things…but now, on the TV, I can sit there and listen to RICHER and way more FAMOUS people tell me this stuff FOR FREE! What a country!
Let me tell you, I’m ready! I bought a whole stack of yellow legal pads and seven new pens. I sat cross legged on a pillow in front of the TV and when Meryl Streep was giving her lecture, I tried to write down every word. (I wish they would talk a little bit slower!)
One of my friends was complaining about her talk, saying what makes her an authority on telling us how to act. I mean, COME ON! What a dummy. Doesn’t he remember that Meryl once pretended to be THE IRON LADY! She actually got to wear clothes just like Margaret Thatcher! And she actually got to say some of the same words Margaret Thatcher said! What more could you want? That alone should make her some kind of expert. One thing did surprise me, though. In her last movie, she played a lady who was a singer. I’m wondering why she didn’t take the time in her lecture to give Aretha Franklin or Barbara Streisand a few pointers.
With so many other award shows lined up, there will be many more opportunities on hand for these rich, successful actors to tell us how to act. I can’t wait. I mean, you know they must be smart because they have to write all the stuff that’s in the movies….oh, wait…they don’t do that, the writer’s do. But…but…they have to know where to stand and when to turn and where to walk and stuff. Oh….wait….no, they don’t do that….the directors tell them what to do.
Oh, I know. Working conditions! Just think of it. Sometimes they have to be on set for a couple of weeks. Can you imagine having to get up early every morning for a couple of weeks? A few times, when the studio has misplaced the green screen, they also have to GO OUTSIDE! YIKES! No wonder they make millions per picture! And when they shoot on location, they have to live in tents and eat crappy food….oh, wait…I’m getting confused with the men and women in our military. (Why don’t we have award shows for them?)
Anyway, I’m going to be one busy camper. With one awards show down and 311 more to go, I think I’m going to have to buy more legal pads!
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